"ETRUSCANS!" a tragicomedy by Andrea Jeva (translated from the Italian by Gregory Conti) Characters: MARO - an elderly mental patient. His anomalous behavior is due to his belief that he is Etruscan. GIANNI - 21 years old or so. A native of Rome. He's a conscientious objector assigned to the mental hospital to do alternative civil service. He assists Maro and he also plays "Regolo, Marco Attilio" Consul of Rome. In the original Italian he speaks with a marked modern Roman accent, but in English it's not so much as accent as the would-be self-assured, sometimes sarcastic tone of those born and raised in the capital of the empire, be it Rome, New York, or London. ELISA - about 25 years old. Hospital volunteer and actress. She assists Maro. JOSLYNN - about 50. American. Psychiatrist. Speaks with the anachronistic wild-eyed enthusiasm of an ex-flower child. Also plays "Culni", Etruscan woman, sister of Serrano. SERRANO - about 40. Etruscan. A ghost evoked by Maro. Dressed as a Roman legionnaire. The author's copyright to "Etruscans!" is protected and safeguarded by S.I.A.E. (Società Italiana degli Autori ed Editori). Stage performances and publications are subject to royalties. All requests regarding rights are to be addressed to: S.I.A.E. / Sezione D.O.R. / Viale della Letteratura 30 / 00144 Roma - Italy. The author asks to be informed of every production of this work. The author can be contacted by e-mail: infogatto@andrea-jeva.it (N.B. remove the name of the animal from the address) - website: http://www.andrea-jeva.it or via regular post addressed to: Andrea Quacquarelli, Via Pinturicchio 1, 06122 Perugia, Italy, Tel. +39/075/5732798 (The theater is dark. A loud clap of thunder. Immediately following the thunder, we see lightning and then hear more thunder in the distance together with the sound of pouring rain. Through the lightning we get a glimpse of the stage where an elderly man, his back to the audience, moves about with ritual gestures. He has a rabbit in one hand and a long knife in the other. The old man is MARO, dressed in Etruscan garb but shoeless. We then see him totally motionless as he stares at the sky. Then we get a glimpse of him cutting the rabbit's throat, opening the abdomen and removing the liver. Ritually, he bends his left leg, putting his bare left foot on a rock, so that he can rest his left elbow on his thigh, then with his left hand he clutches and examines the rabbit's liver, holding it up and examining it against the sky. Black. The grumbling of thunder continues. Lights. Late afternoon on an overcast day. We see GIANNI and ELISA in a room without walls, each with an umbrella in hand. Gianni is dressed in contemporary clothing, wearing a hooded windbreaker and a backpack. Elisa is also dressed in contemporary clothing and also has a backpack. There is a table, some chairs, objects and utensils. They're irritated, especially Gianni, by their thoroughly drenched clothes. The storm will continue to make itself heard from time to time, as will the rain) GIANNI - Jesus H. Christ! Sopping wet is dry compared to this! Just call me a mop. And this wind… ELISA - …You're telling me! (Gianni stamps his feet on the ground) ELISA - (reprimanding him) Gianni! (Referring to his stamping his feet) Not in the house! GIANNI - Oh, sorry. (Gianni stamps his feet around the edges of the borderless space, as though he were doing it outdoors. Both he and Elisa try clumsily to shake off the rain) GIANNI - (looking around into the distance, he calls out) Maro! (To Elisa) You really think he's out there in the garden in this weather? (Looks back out into the hypothetical garden). ELISA - You can bet on it. GIANNI - (looking into the garden) I can't see anyone out there. ELISA - Right. You really think he'd let you get a look at him when he's out in the garden? GIANNI - Why not? ELISA - Because you just got here. You're a rooky! (Laughs). GIANNI - Hey, cool out. I'm not a rooky, I'm a conscientious objector doing my alternative civil service. Get that into your head. ELISA - Like I said, a rooky. (They close their umbrellas. Elisa moves to the edge of the borderless space and shakes her umbrella carefully, making sure the water falls outdoors) GIANNI - (taking off his pack back, shouting) Maroo! …Come on, come inside. (To Elisa) Does he always do this during a storm? ELISA - (shaking her umbrella) Almost always, yes. GIANNI - And what exactly does he do out there? (Trying to see Maro in the garden). ELISA - You'll see, when the time comes. (Stamps her feet carefully, as she did with the umbrella, then does the same with Gianni's umbrella). GIANNI - (looking into the garden. Shouting) Maroo! …Not even a glimpse. (To Elisa) So where does he keep the rabbits? ELISA - (sarcastic) In his pocket. GIANNI - (angry) Maroo! It's us. We're back. We have everything! (He puts his backpack down on the table. Pulls out a plastic bag filled with some food items). Maroo! ELISA - Oh, stop it. When he's ready, he'll come in by himself. (Commenting to herself) Oh man, what a drag! (She sits down at the table, taking a book out of her pack. She dries it as if it were wet. Starts to read). GIANNI - So now what are you doing now, reading? ELISA - (looking at him as though to intimidate him) Why, you got something better to do? (Goes back to reading without waiting for an answer). GIANNI - (brief pause) Maroo! (Pause. Then to Elisa) Well, yes, I've got something a lot better to do. I'm hungry. (Pause) Excuse me, he's not dangerous is he? Maro, I mean. ELISA - (her eyes still in the book) Nah. He hasn't knocked anyone's teeth out so far. GIANNI - What do you mean? He knocks people's teeth out? ELISA - (as above) Not so far, no. GIANNI - Oh great, now that's encouraging. I mean, aren't there any nurses around here, or orderlies? ELISA - (as above) I told you, I've got the doctor's phone number. GIANNI - (ironic) Oh, well, now that's reassuring! I feel so safe! …Maroo! (To himself) Oh, gees, what Maro, the guy's a prize fighter! Jesus! (A loud thunder clap. Lightning. Maro appears. He's wearing a short yellow tunic and a red, embroidered cape. His left hand holds the rabbit's liver and the right has a long knife, covered with blood, that he puts down on the ground. He finds a pair of shoes in the interior space and puts them on: they are Etruscan "calcei repandi," leather sandals with their toes pointed up, in the oriental style. Then, picking up the knife, he stops midway between Gianni and Elisa) GIANNI - (who has been watching Maro with uneasy fear mixed with curiosity. Then:) Ah, there you are. Voilà! (Showing him the food items set out on the table) We even brought some pasta. So what now, you going to do the cooking? (Gianni keeps his eye on the knife. Without saying anything, Maro moves in closer to the table to take a look at the food items. With a rag he finds on the table he cleans the blood off the knife, with very precise movements.) GIANNI - (to Maro to take the edge off the tension created by the presence of the long knife, giving him a friendly pat on the back) Wow, you're not even wet! How long have you been out there? But, hey, were you really out in the garden? …You can put the knife down now, can't you? ELISA - (as above) He doesn't get wet. GIANNI - (looking at the knife out of the corner of his eye) Right, he doesn't get wet. Come on. All right, so he stayed under the trees. (To Maro) You stay under the olive trees? …Are you going to put the knife down or what? ELISA - He's not afraid to get wet, so he doesn't get wet. GIANNI - What are you talking about? I'm not afraid to get wet either. It's just that it bugs me to get wet. ELISA - (as above) It doesn't bug him and so he doesn't get wet, you understand the logic? GIANNI - (to Elisa, referring, without letting on, to the knife) Come on, you mean you really don't get it? Huh? (Gritting his teeth) Elisaa? MARO - (who in the meantime has checked on the food items) No, this isn't everything. GIANNI - (surprised) What do you mean, "this isn't everything?" (Pointing out contentiously, but at the same time careful not to irritate Maro) Garlic, herbs, cheese, wine, pepper, celery, barley, raisins, pine nuts, pomegranate seeds, fennel seeds, dried mint, privet, honey, mustard. (Indicating the liver), You've got the rabbit liver. (With poorly concealed disapproval) Maro! Everything you asked for is here. I wrote it all down. It took me two days to find all this stuff. (Indicating the items) But then I also got some pasta and tomatoes, because this other stuff doesn't really add up to a serious meal now does it? MARO - No, this isn't everything. What about the flute? GIANNI - (repeating Maro's tone) The flute? MARO - (irritated) I told you I wanted a flute. GIANNI - (uncertain) Yeah, but you can't eat a flute… MARO - (interrupting him) No, without the flute I'm not cooking a damn thing. And you'll never learn how to be a real Etruscan… GIANNI - (contentious, but controlled) Maro! I'd like nothing better than to learn how to be a real Etruscan but… ELISA - Sssh! (Interrupting him, getting up to go over to her backpack). GIANNI - (to Elisa) What do you mean, "sssh"? ELISA - (who in the meantime has taken the flute out of her pack. Holding out the flute to Maro). Here's the flute, Maro. GIANNI - (losing control, to Elisa) No, the flute, no. Look, I'm not eating the flute, okay? (To Maro, regaining control) I'd rather not eat the flute, I mean, if that's okay with you. MARO - (glances at Gianni, then takes the flute) Thank you, Elisa. (Puts the flute in the plastic bag together with the food items and exits the space). GIANNI - (after a minute, to Elisa, trying not to make himself heard by Maro) Listen, you think it's normal that this guy butchers animals with that, that "scimitar"? Huh? ELISA - It's the therapy prescribed by the doctor. GIANNI - (contentious) Oh, fucking great, "the therapy prescribed by the doctor." She sounds like a real winner. ELISA - So he'll be better able to grasp the nature of the life cycle. GIANNI - Right, "grasp the nature of the life cycle" …So what is it that he grasps with the flute, huh? ELISA - Sssh. GIANNI - Huh? So how does he cook the flute, in the oven? Is that another part of the therapy prescribed by the doctor? ELISA - Oh, keep quiet, will you? Do you have to talk all the time? GIANNI - Oh, no. I've had enough. How in the world did I end up here? Elisa! I'm not hungry anymore, okay? I already ate. You tell Maro for me, okay. Tell him not to worry about dinner. Just tell him I've lost my appetite. Will you do that for me? ELISA - (trying in turn to make sure Maro can't hear her) Stop it …You really think we're going to eat the flute? What a rookie! (Smiling, she returns to reading her book). GIANNI - What do I know? Everything about this place is totally crazy …I mean, you too (under his breath) Elisaa! You're not much help here, keeping people calm, sitting there reading your book with the blood dripping off the knife …Aren't there any nurses around here? ELISA - Sssh! (Trying to keep from being overheard) I've got the doctor's phone number, chill out! GIANNI - Yeah, right. "The doctor's phone number"! (Brief pause) It's really pretty nice though, that red cape. (Nods toward Maro. Then, under his breath) Don't you think, Elisa? ELISA - You like it? GIANNI - Yeah, all that embroidery. ELISA - He's got a lot of really nice clothes. GIANNI - And where does he buy them? ELISA - He makes them himself. GIANNI - (skeptical) What? He knows how to make his own clothes? ELISA- He knows how to do a lot of things. You'll see. GIANNI - And what does he do out there in the garden during thunder storms, are you going to tell me or not? ELISA - (unsure) I don't know. The doctor says we should be cautious with our new assistants. Plus, you're just a little too… GIANNI - (interrupting her) Oh, so I'm just a little too? And you? And the doctor? (nodding toward Maro) And that one over there! Elisaa… How about all of you, huh? Aren't you all just a little "too" too? ELISA - (blurting it out) He predicts the future. GIANNI - Who? ELISA - Maro, in the garden, he predicts the future. GIANNI - Yeah, right. And how does he do that? ELISA - He observes the lighting bolts and the rabbit liver. He does it with birds too. GIANNI - What do you mean, he does it with birds too? ELISA - Yeah, he looks at what part of the sky they come from and where they perch. GIANNI - Ohhh, I thought you meant he butchered birds too. ELISA - And then he interprets their flight patterns. With the lightning bolts too, he tries to determine what direction they come from and where they fall to earth. GIANNI - And where does the rabbit liver come in? (Elisa, very theatrically, with a sudden jump forward, pretends to grasp a liver in her left hand) GIANNI - (stepping aside, afraid) Ohh! ELISA - (reproduces exactly Maro's movements from the opening frame with the lightning bolts, ritually bending her left leg, putting her left foot on an imaginary rock, resting her elbow on her thigh, then with her left hand clutching and examining the imaginary liver, holding it up against the sky). You see, the liver reflects… GIANNI - What am I supposed to see, you're not holding anything… ELISA - reflects the exact situation of the universe at the moment of the sacrifice (relaxing) …You can imagine it, can't you? GIANNI - What. ELISA - Hhumm… The liver! The liver! You really are such a pain in the ass! GIANNI - Alright, already, so I can imagine it, go ahead. ELISA - …It's divided, like the sky, into sixteen zones. GIANNI - (looking at the imaginary liver) Yeah, yeah, I can see it just fine. (Ironic) Sixteen zones. ELISA - You always have to look toward the south. (Points) The zones on the left, to the east, are favorable, the ones to the right, or west, are unfavorable. The various zones have various attributes. Nine gods have the right to throw lighting bolts, but only Zeus has the right to throw three different kinds of lightning bolts. GIANNI - (exaggerating) Fuckin' ay! No, I mean, it's all perfectly logical. And so? ELISA - (remaining in position) So, there are twelve kinds of lightning bolts. GIANNI - (as above) "twelve kinds of lightning bolts," nine plus three equals twelve. Right. And what are the different kinds exactly? ELISA - (imagines she can see them) Vertical, horizontal, double- tailed, triple-tailed, out-of-the-blue… GIANNI - "Out-of-the-blue"! ELISA - Intimidatory, punitive, purifying… I can't remember the others. GIANNI - Just as well, I suppose. ELISA - The most important thing is to observe the bolt's take-off point in the sky (points at the sky), you see? GIANNI - (ironic) Perfectly. ELISA - Then the sky-earth trajectory traced by its fall, and, finally, the collision point. (She makes a noise with her mouth as though a bolt had just fallen to earth). It's the careful observation that ensures the accuracy of the prediction, which is obtained through interpretation of the liver, examination of the folds on its surface, the marks, etc. etc. etc. (Relaxing from her former position) That's what Maro does in the garden. (With admiration, fervor). You see, when you're predicting the future, there is an amazing correspondence between the sky, the thunder, the lightning and the liver of the sacrificial victim. That's where the liver comes in, understand? GIANNI - You really are an actress, aren't you? (Mimicking the noise that Elisa had made with her mouth). That's something else. Was it really Maro who taught you all this? ELISA - Yes. GIANNI - So it's all true then, I mean, you believe it. ELISA - In a certain sense, yes. GIANNI - What do you mean, "In a certain sense"? Do you believe it or not? ELISA - When I consider that for the Etruscans, just like in ancient Egypt or Crete, for example, the process of logical reasoning was not yet fully developed …Yes, I do believe it. GIANNI - Yeah, right, considering that around here you're constantly running into ancient Egyptians, Babylonians, Cretans… Not to mention that old Maro here is a full-blooded Etruscan in the flesh… Sorry, sorry, sorry… I just had a thought. Are you sure there isn't some Egyptian or Babylonian in one of the other half-way houses around here? ELISA - Cut it out. (Getting enthusiastic) With Maro it's physical intelligence and intuition that have the upper hand. It's "feeling" that prevails over "reasoning". The center of his being is occupied by physicality, not rationality, by the heart, not the head. Isn't it wonderful? GIANNA - Calm down, now. (Smiles) But do you realize what you're saying? ELISA - (imitating his smile) You see now that I shouldn't have told you anything? Pain in the ass. (Goes back to reading). GIANNI - Hey, ease up a little on the words, okay? Come on, let's talk about it some more. Does it work? Does he really predict the future? ELISA - (reading) Sure he does. GIANNI - Yeah, right. ELISA - So go fuck yourself. Why do you ask if you don' t want to know? GIANNI - Ah, come on, you mean he really does it? ELISA - (closing her book) Sure he does. Not always, but sometimes, yes. GIANNI - For example? ELISA - He predicted you were coming. GIANNI - Alright, he heard about that from the doctor… By the way, does she really exist, this doctor of yours? ELISA - No, I mean yes, the doctor exists. But I mean he knew you were coming even before it was official. He told me about it way before it was announced. He told me that a Roman was about to come here and that he had to get ready to welcome him in the right way because for him it was a significant event… GIANNI - Well now, it's a good thing I was significant. Otherwise what would he have done, butchered me like the rabbit? Just enough so he could understand my life cycle too? ELISA - Come on, try to be a little less "durable," like you say down in Rome. Not so "hard-headed," okay. He invited you to dinner, didn't he? GIANNI - Invited? …I'm the one who did the shopping! I'm the one who did all the work. You forgotten that already? ELISA - (impatient) Don't worry about the details. GIANNI - Two days it took me. Some details? ELISA - Yes, but now you can eat like a real Etruscan. Isn't it fascinating? Plus, it's really nice of him. He said to me, "Romans really like to eat, wait and see". GIANNI - He said that? ELSIA - Yes. GIANNI - Why didn't you tell me that before? (To Maro, shouting) Maroo! I really like to eat pasta: a big plate of spaghetti with fresh cherry tomatoes… ELISA - Sssh! GIANNI - (to Elisa) …Compared to that concoction he wants to make… And to top it off, let's throw in the flute… ELISA - Oh come off it with the flute will you! It's not that way at all. GIANNI - Oh no? …Okay, we'll see. So how is it that he knew I was coming? ELISA - Not you exactly, he said "a Roman". GIANNI - So? I'm Roman, aren't I? ELISA - No, when he says Roman, he means an ancient Roman …With a helmet and a sword… GIANNI - Ah, an ancient Roman. Right, funny I hadn't thought of that. (Brief pause). Look, you're not trying to say I'm going to have to dress up like an ancient Roman are you? …What's the doctor got to say? With a helmet, a sword… ELISA - It's up to Mauro, if he asks you to… GIANNI - What are you…? If he asks me to… Oh Christ! (Closing his backpack). Great! At this point, I couldn't care less how he predicted I was coming. Look, I don't even care about eating spaghetti with fresh tomatoes. I'd rather go do my military service. I'm out of here… (He puts the pack on his back and starts to leave) It's been a real pleasure… ELISA - (stopping him) Ah, come on! Don't be like that. I was just kidding… GIANNI - You were kidding? No, the kidding has gone way to far around here! I'm asking for a new assignment. Believe me, it'll be better for everyone! (Starts to go) I'll be seeing you … ELISA - Come on, wait! We need you here. (Gianni's attempt to leave is interrupted by the rhythmic sound of the flute, followed immediately by Maro's entrance, bare-chested and playing the flute and doing some very vigorous dance steps) MARO - (after a bit, handing the flute to Elisa) Here, you have to keep playing with the same rhythm. (Exits). GIANNI - What is he, nuts? ELISA - (thinking that Maro might have heard Gianni) What are you, nuts? GIANNI - Me? ELISA - Sssshh… If he hears you? (Raising her voice) Okay, Maro. (To Gianni) Sssh… (She begins playing but the rhythm is slow). MARO - (re-entering with a mortar and pestle made of wood) No, Elisa, the melody doesn't matter, it's the rhythm, the rhythm! Otherwise the satura won't come out right. (He puts the mortar down on the table and takes the flute in hand) Like this! (Plays again at his former rhythm) Got it? ELISA - I'll try… (Plays the flute and after a bit gets the rhythm right) Is that okay? MARO - Yes, good, try not to lose the rhythm. (To Gianni) Now, look carefully. You mix all the ingredients together raw, except for the rabbit, which has to be boiled ahead of time, see? (Shows him the inside of the bowl). GIANNI - But how did you boil the rabbit so fast? MARO - (logical) I prepared it this morning. GIANNI - Oh, I see, it's not the same rabbit from earlier (he looks at the bowl, making an almost imperceptible grimace of disgust) …But why did you add so much wine? You need to use less, a lot less… MARO - (annoyed) Who's the Etruscan here, you or me? GIANNI - You, you… Who said anything different? (Pointing at the bowl) And what's that? MARO - Garlic. GIANNI - (calming down) Aah… (Then pointing) And this yellow stuff here? MARO - Honey. GIANNI - Honey? (Disgusted) MARO - We have to use everything I asked you to get, otherwise I wouldn't have asked you to get it. GIANNI - Maro, listen… My fresh tomatoes with the spaghetti? What do you think if I cook them separately? MARO - Rubbish! (Elisa sends a nasty glance toward Gianni) GIANNI - (forcing himself to be diplomatic) Right, right (to Elisa) Well, at least he's got the right idea about the flute… MARO - What? GIANNI - No, nothing, nothing… Spaghetti and fresh tomatoes is rubbish. Honey and wine is a delicacy. Go right ahead, what's next? MARO - This is the right position (He grabs the mortar and bends over with the pestle in hand ready to pound the contents of the mortar) See? GIANNI - Yeah, it's not that hard (Mimics Maro's stance) But, anyway, you're doing that, right? MARO - (Relaxing out of the stance) For now, yes, but you'll have to do it later. GIANNI - Me? MARO - …If not, what did you come here for? GIANNI - I'm supposed to be teaching you how to draw cartoons… MARO - (amazed) How to draw cartoons? ELISA - (rushing over to calm things down) Yes, Maro… Don't worry about it. I'll explain it to you later… MARO - (to Gianni) Are you Roman or what? GIANNI - Yeah, sure I'm Roman. MARO - (slightly irritated) Well then, show me! GIANNI - What are you talking about? ELISA - Enough of this bickering… Maro, come on, let's get on with it. MARO (To Gianni) Now, when Elisa starts to play, you have to dance like I was doing earlier (does a few steps of the earlier dance). The important thing is the hands. They have to be open and dancing right down to the finger tips, get it? GIANNI - Yeah, yeah (Showing his skepticism) open and dancing… MARO - (with passion) …A dance that grows from deep inside like a current in the sea, get it? GIANNI - More than I can say… But you see, Maro… The fact is that I've already eaten… I'll always have already eaten… Know what I mean? I'm not hungry… I'll never be hungry… You see what I'm saying? MARO - (to Elisa) What's he talking about? GIANNI - Ah, that's it. Elisa, you explain it to him… ELISA - Come on, what are you afraid of? Are you too embarrassed to dance? (Breaks out laughing). GIANNI - (reprimanding her) Elisaa! A deal is a deal (trying to make her understand) I'm not hungry! Is there something wrong with that? …Explain it to him, please! MARO - No, the deal was that we were going to make an Etruscan dinner… GIANNI - Yeah, but what's dancing got to do with making dinner. Eh? ELISA - …Otherwise, the satura won't come out right. GIANNI - Oh Christ, the satura! What the hell is the satura? ELISA - It's the mixture! The mixture for the satura won't come out right! MARO - (condescendingly) Exactly. GIANNI - (to himself) So why am I talking? I'm dancing, I'm dancing. (Starts to dance). MARO - That a way, but you should dance with your shirt off, like me. GIANNI - Right! MARO - And it's even better if you take your pants off. GIANNI - So I'm supposed to dance around here in my underpants? Is that it, Maro? MARO - Exactly. Actually, it's even better if you take off your underpants. GIANNI - (outraged and scandalized) Naked, huh? Naked! Elisaa! MARO- Exactly. GIANNI - What are you talking, "exactly"? I'm out of here… (Starts to leave). ELIZA - (stopping him) Come on, why are you making such a big deal out of nothing? GIANNI - Nothing? Dancing naked?! ELISA - What about Woodstock? Doesn't "Woodstock" mean anything to you? GIANNI - Woodstock? What do I know from Woodstock? I'll see you… ELISA - (stopping him) Gianni, don't you remember what the doctor wrote to you? GIANNI - No, I don't remember. MARO - Let him go, Elisa. Maybe he's not the Roman I was expecting. ELISA - (to Gianni, begging him) Come on, otherwise the mixture won't come out right… GIANNI - (to Elisa) What are you saying? ELISA - Come on… GIANNI - But I'm not taking my underpants off, okay? MARO - Really, you don't want to? GIANNI - No, I don't want to. MARO - (to Elisa) Bad sign, he's not the Roman I was expecting… ELISA - Come on, Gianni… Don't be bashful. You ashamed to go naked? (Laughs). GIANNI - I'm not taking them off… And take it from me, the mixture will come out fine, just the same. Jesus H. Christ! ELISA - What are you so mad about? GIANNI - So what if I'm mad. (Pause) In the midst of all this insanity and I'm not even allowed to get mad? ELISA - The way he wants to do it is okay too, isn't it Maro? MARO - I'll just have to pound it a little more with the pestle. GIANNI - (worried) Hold on a min… Whose pestle? MARO - This one (shows him the pestle in his hand). GIANNI - (calming down) Oh, that "pestle" MARO - Ready? ELISA - Ready! (To Gianni) Go on, take off your clothes! GIANNI - Wait a minute. (To himself) Christ! (He bashfully takes off his clothes down to a pair of loud and ridiculously colored boxer shorts. Elisa laughs) …I'm ready. (Maro gives a sign to Elisa who starts playing the flute. Maro, bowing over the mortar, starts pounding the ingredients with the pestle, following the rhythm of the flute. Gianni, not really into it, tries to dance like Maro but awkwardly. After a few minutes: black. Superimposed over the music of the flute will be some recorded music controlled from off stage mixed with sounds of thunder. It will keep rising in volume. After a bit we hear a clap of thunder louder than the others. A lightning bolt. Lights. Then we see, with his back to us, an ancient Roman. It's Gianni, alone on stage. The storm is over. The music fades into silence. After a bit Elisa enters with JOSLYNN, dressed in contemporary clothing.) JOSLYNN - May I? ELISA - (to Joslynn) By all means, Professor, please come in. (she sees Gianni dressed as an ancient Roman). But… GIANNI - (turning front, making the Roman salute). Ave! JOSLYNN - (to Elisa) But he's not Etruscan! He's Roman! GIANNI - (to Joslynn, ironically) Oh yeah? And what makes you think that? ELISA - Gianni! …What are you doing here so early? (To Joslynn) No, he's not Maro… GIANNI - I have to get breakfast ready. ELISA - What do you mean, you have to get breakfast ready. Is that why you're dressed like that? GIANNI - (kidding) Like what? ELISA - Like that… (Pointing at him) Come on! GIANNI - Like an ancient Roman, you mean? (Showing himself off) The sword, the helmet… It's only logical, otherwise the mixture doesn't come out right. ELISA - Did Maro ask you to dress like that? GIANNI - No. ELISA - What are you, crazy? Why are you dressed like that if Maro didn't ask you? GIANNI - Oh, so I'm the one who's crazy? Look, wasn't he expecting an ancient Roman? So, here I am. It wasn't that tough to figure out where all this was going. So I figure the sooner I get into the Roman garb the sooner we can close the show and get on with my cartoon course, okay? JOSLYNN - (embarrassed) Oh, so then there's two of them… GIANNI - Two of what? Two crazies? (Pointing at Elisa) No, three! (To Joslynn) Haven't you ever seen her predict the future? ELISA - Maro asked me to do that! But he hasn't asked you to dress like a Roman. GIANNI - (to Joslynn) Actually, there are four of us, including the doctor, assuming she actually exists. You want to be the fifth? ELISA - Stop playing around… This is Professor Joslynn Conti. She teaches psychiatry at the University of California. JOSLYNN - (holding out her hand to Gianni) Happy to meet you… GIANNI - (making the Roman salute) Ave… ELISA - She's made a special trip from the United States to study Maro. GIANNI - The United States! (To Joslynn) Where's that? Anywhere near Carthage? ELISA - Oh, Gianni, cut it out. Professor Conti does psychiatric research. JOSLYNN - No, actually this is very, very interesting. (Addressing herself to Gianni) And so, how long have you been… ELISA - (to Joslynn) He's actually a conscientious objector doing alternative service. GIANNI - (To Joslynn) You mean, how long have I been a Roman? JOSLYNN - That's right, yes. GIANNI - Since forever. But I just became a Consul today. ELISA - Come on, Gianni, cut it out. GIANNI - It's true. You know what Maro said to me this morning when he saw me? (Theatrically) "Regolo, Marco Attilio", Consul of Rome. At last! …And then he bowed down to me. ELISA - (playing it down) …So, what's wrong with that? GIANNI - What do you mean, what's wrong with that? JOSLYNN - Far out! Awesome! So perfect! Now I understand what's going on. Great idea! (To Gianni) Great, great, Signor… (Doesn't remember his name). GIANNI - (peacocking) "Regolo, Marco Attilio" Consul of Rome. ELISA - (to Joslynn) Gianni, his name is Gianni. (To Gianni) Okay, Gianni, hang it up, right now. JOSLYNN - (to Elisa) No, no, no, no. I think it's a fantastic bit of intuition. By dressing this way he can win Maro's trust and slowly liberate him from his ghosts. GIANNI - (puzzled) Are you serious? JOSLYNN - I think it might work, yeah. ELISA - …We really should talk this over with the doctor, I think. GIANNI - Doctor who? This place doesn't even have a nurse! ELISA - (to Gianni) Stop it! JOSLYNN - (with enthusiasm) I think I'll dress up like an Etruscan too! Wow! ELISA - But… JOSLYNN - I adore the Etruscans. (Dreamy) It's always been my dream! ELISA - But, Professor Conti… (Incredulous) you want to dress as an Etruscan? JOSLYNN - Ohh, yesss! (She laughs wildly) ELISA - (embarrassed) We really should talk to the doctor first… GIANNI - Great. (To himself) Ah yes, the professor is one of us. (He bows) Welcome to the group… No, I mean… JOSLYNN - That I'm crazy too?! But who isn't crazy these days? (Laughs as above) GIANNI - (enjoying himself) This is really starting to get interesting. (Handing Joslynn a business card) Here you go, Finelli Brothers, Costumes and Stage Props, they've got anything you need. (To Elisa) Why don't you go with her? You could dress up like, I don't know, Cleopatra! You'd look great wrapped in a snake. No, seriously. Maybe then you'd be able to tear yourself away from that damned book of yours. ELISA - …That damned book was written by R.D. Laing! GIANNI - And who's he? ELISA - (to Gianni) Without R.D. Laing and Franco Basaglia and other psychiatrists like them, Maro would be tied to a bed in some snake pit of a looney bin. Crammed up to his ears with drugs. Or maybe even worse. GIANNI - But thanks to them, Maro is now free to butcher rabbits, predict the future and wait around for me, "Regolo, Marco Attilio", Consul of Rome. And all without even a trace of a psychiatric nurse! But just on the off chance that Maro goes up on the roof and, just by chance, starts threatening to jump - has that ever occurred to you? - what would we do about it, me the conscientious objector and you the failed actress? How about that? ELISA - (Irritated) I am not a failed actress. GIANNI - Oh yeah? So why are you here, then, instead of on stage in some theater? JOSLYNN - (sighing) This is all so interesting! Wow! ELISA - (to Gianni) I'm here because it is an important experience. Unlike you, I made a choice to come here. GIANNI - Yeah, some choice, you've learned how to tell which three of the twelve kinds of lightning bolts only Zeus is allowed to throw… ELISA - That's exactly what I mean! Among all the other things, I am learning how to enrich my expressivity! You see how you're starting to catch on? GIANNI - Elisaa, if Maro goes up on the roof and threatens to jump, how are you going to stop him, with your enriched expressivity? ELISA - Why not? I've got an ongoing dialogue with him. JOSLYNN - (sighing) What insight! GIANNI - (looking at both of them) Why bother even talking? ELISA - (to Joslynn) Professor Conti, excuse me… In any case, I think we should talk to the doctor before we act on your suggestion… We've never done anything that didn't start with some request from Maro. JOSLYNN - Yes, of course. I agree. GIANNI - (to Elisa) But let's try it… I don't see anything wrong with it. Actually, this morning he actually treated me very well, not like the other days… And you, sorry Elisa, but don't you already predict the future with him? ELISA - Yes, but I don't dress up in some costume for no reason at all. I am reality for him. JOSLYNN - (to Elisa, with enthusiasm) That's exactly what I was trying to say before: by starting from his reality we can arrive at objective reality. It could bring some good results for the doctor's therapy. Plus, it's really only doing a little bit more of what you already do, if I've understood correctly. ELISA - Yes, but, this way it seems just a bit too superficial, like fiction. That's it, fiction. JOSLYNN - (enthusiastic) That's just it! For "them" fiction is the basis of everything. It's so awesome! (Laughs wildly) GIANNI - You know, I think the professor here is on to something. In fact, I feel so much better myself, now that I'm fictional. It let's you relax a little, you know? And then you, the "not" failed actress, would really have a chance to increase your expressivity. If Cleopatra doesn't do it for you, you could try… JOSLYNN - (excited) Tanaquil… The grand Etruscan woman! Yes! Yes! GIANNI - Who? JOSLYNN - The wife of Tarquinius Priscus. Oh yes, far out! GIANNI - (surprised) …Tarquinius Priscus, who, the King of Rome? JOSLYNN - Yes, the fifth king of Rome. (To Elisa) And, an Etruscan. (Laughs wildly) GIANNI - (getting into it) Hey! (To Elisa) The wife of a king of Rome and what's more an Etruscan! There couldn't be a more perfect role for you. Try it… (Apart, to Elisa) Listen, this professor, I mean, is it an occupational hazard or something? Are you all like this? JOSLYNN - Elisa, let me talk to the doctor about it. GIANNI - By the way, professor, do you think she really exists? The doctor, I mean. ELISA - Gianni, stop being such a jerk. Where's Maro? GIANNI - In the garden, he's preparing the ingredients. Then I add the gunpowder and put together a breakfast that'll send you flying… (To Joslynn) Fireworks for breakfast. No, gun powder didn't exist yet back in my time… I'll use a little chicken blood… there any chickens around here? That's alright, rabbit blood'll do the trick… (To Elisa) Which pocket does he keep the rabbit blood in? ELISA (interrupting him) Oh, man! Stop it, Gianni! …Sorry, Professor. MARO - (entering with a full basket. To Gianni, obsequiously) Here, my Consul, now we have all the necessary ingredients: (showing them) fruit, rosemary, sage. (To Elisa) He finally got here… (Then he looks at Joslynn). JOSLYNN - (After a bit to Maro) …Good morning. (Maro doesn't answer). ELISA - Maro, this is Professor Joslynn Conti. She comes from the United States. MARO - …Carthaginian? (Gianni, without letting Maro see him, gives the thumbs up gesture to Elisa and winks). MARO - Have you come to see the Consul? ELISA - No, she's here to see you. She wanted to get to know you better. MARO - Me? But… (To Joslynn) Did we meet at Cape Ecnomo by any chance? JOSLYNN - (uncomfortable) I wouldn't know… (Smiles). MARO - No, I don't think so. We were too worn out after the victorious battle, isn't that right, Consul? GIANNI - (to Maro) Exhausted! (To Joslynn, in a feigned California accent) Like, totally wiped out, man. (Joslynn nods wildly to confirm she understands). MARO - (to Joslynn) …Perhaps we met in Carthage when the Consul and I were being held prisoner? GIANNI - Held prisoner? By who? MARO - By Santippo! GIANNI - Ah! JOSLYNN - (to Maro) Ah, yes, perhaps we met at Santippo's place in Carthage. MARO - Then, I think it's best that you talk to my Consul (smiles at Gianni). Here he is. ELISA - Maro, Professor Conti would simply like to… JOSLYNN - (to Elisa interrupting her) No, no, no, no, just Joslynn, please. (Smiles exaggeratedly). ELISA - (to Maro) Professor Joslynn would simply like… JOSLYNN - (interrupting) No, no, no, no, just Joslynn, please. (Smiles). GIANNI - (to Maro, agitated) Maro, Just Joslynn would like to have a little chat with you, that's all. (To Joslynn) Isn't that right? JOSLYNN - Yes, certainly. MARO - (obsequious) My Consul, it is you who must talk. What can I do to further the cause of peace or war? GIANNI - Right, my faithful friend. (To Elisa and Joslynn, assuming the pose of a great soldier of fortune) Now, with whom is it exactly that I am supposed to make peace or war? ELISA - Maro, …Joslynn would just like to know from you what your short term goals are and what your long term goals are (to Joslynn) isn't that right? JOSLYNN - Yes, certainly. GIANNI - What she means, Maro, is what kind of lightning bolts do you foresee for the next storm and what kind for the storm after that? ELISA - Gianni, stop it! MARO - Gianni? (To Elisa) He is my Consul and his name is "Marco Attilio Regolo". Everyone believed he was dead. A horrible death. But I knew that it couldn't be true, that they would free him as they had freed me. (To Joslynn, with fervor) It was our courage that so greatly impressed your countrymen, was it not? ELISA - Maro… JOSLYNN - (gesturing to Elisa that everything is okay) …Yes, your courage made a great impression on us. (To herself, clenching her fists) Oh yes! Fantastic! MARO - (to Gianni) I have waited for you for so long. Then that lightning bolt from out of the blue. It fell right on the wooden barrel in the garden, totally destroyed it. That's when I understood. (To Elisa) Tell him about it, Elisa. ELISA - Yes… It happened just like that. GIANNI - (to Elisa) ah, so that's how he predicted my coming! ELISA - Yes. MARO - (to Gianni) In that moment I understood that I would soon see my Consul again, that he could not have been killed in that barrel full of nails in that atrocious way, as recounted in the false tales of those who envy him. (Kneeling at his feet) You will be my salvation. The future salvation of all the Rasenna. (A hint of crying as he bows his head, then his voice almost breaking) My beloved people. (Looks at Gianni) Will you help me to save them? GIANNI - (uneasy, putting a hand on Maro's head, posing as a great leader) Have no fear, my faithful friend, I will do everything in my power to help you. ELISA - (after commenting with a cough) I think it's best that you speak with the doctor right away. (Starts to go out). JOSLYNN - (stopping her) No, Elisa, wait… Maro, would you please tell me about your short term goals? (Takes out pen and pad and jots down notes). MARO - (looks at Gianni who nods his approval, then at Joslynn) Get up early in the morning. Make the bed. Wash myself with care. Work in the vegetable garden. Make lunch and dinner… (Pause) ELISA - (suggesting) Make some jewel… MARO - Make some jewelry. Make some clothes. Raise rabbits. And… (Brief pause) that's about it. ELISA - Good job, Maro. JOSLYNN - And your long term goals (looking at her notepad). MARO - (to Joslynn looking at Elisa, timidly) I have two. (Pause) JOSLYNN -(still looking at notepad) Ye-es? And what are they? ELISA - (to Maro) It's okay. (Pause) MARO - (bursting out, to Joslynn) …I'm going to set the record for drinking the most Coca Cola. They'll put me in the Guinness Book of Records! GIANNI - (amazed) The world record for drinking Coca Cola! MARO - (pleased) Yes, my Consul. GIANNI - I didn't know… ELISA - Now you know. JOSLYNN - (to Maro) Amazing! How interesting! And how much Coca Cola can you drink? (Pause) ELISA - From Assisi to Perugia he can down two liters of the stuff. MARO - (proud) I also have a weakness for trains. ELISA - (delighted) He hops on any train he sees… But that's not one of his goals. It's just a passion. MARO - (to Joslynn) In fact, when the police come after me I let them catch me, right Elisa? (Big smile). ELISA - And he let's them bring him back here, as long as they buy him some Coca Cola. (Smiles). GIANNI - (to himself) Oh, Christ! MARO - (to Gianni) That way, I use the trip back here to stay in training. (Smiles). GIANNI - Now there's an idea! JOSLYNN - And your other long term goal? MARO - If I'm able to achieve all of my short term goals, I'll also be able to… (Pause) ELISA - (to Maro) Come on, now. MARO - I'll also be able to… (Pause) GIANNI - Ye-es? MARO - To find a Roman "Lucumon". GIANNI - (bewildered) A "Lucumon"? ELISA - Yes, a Lucumon. JOSLYNN - (gesturing to signal that she's in charge) Right, right, right. (To Maro) And what do you mean exactly by a "Lucumon?" GIANNI - (interested) Yeah… MARO - For a long time now a "Lucumon" for us Rasenna is not just a political leader, he is our chief spiritual leader, our highest priest. JOSLYNN - Very interesting. And how do you plan to go about finding a spiritual leader for the Etruscans among the Romans? MARO - That's the hard part. But it's not impossible. That's why I get up early every morning. And make my bed with care. I know that one day, with the help of my Consul… (To Gianni) Together, we have overcome some terrible challenges. GIANNI - (to Elisa and Joslynn, self-satisfied) Indeed. MARO - We destroyed the monstrous serpent! (To Gianni) Remember? GIANNI - (as above) Yes, indeed! MARO - Won battles against fleets more than double the size of our own… GIANNI - (as above) Beyond all doubt! MARO - (to Gianni) …Are you beginning to understand, now? GIANNI - (not understanding) Certainly… MARO - (to Joslynn, referring to Gianni) I've already found him… GIANNI - What was that? MARO - (interrupting him) He, if he has the will… If he learns all the things I plan to teach him… If he applies himself with passion… (Solemnly) He will be my Lucumon! GIANNI - Me? ELISA - Yes, you. Only you're way ahead of schedule. GIANNI - But does the doctor know about this? ELISA - Yes, she totally agrees. GIANNI - So, this was all planned. MARO - Yes, my Consul, it was all written in the sky. GIANNI - (to Elisa) You could have told me this before, couldn't you? ELISA - You're already way ahead of schedule as it is, without your knowing anything. Imagine what would have happened if I'd told you! GIANNI - Excuse me, but is there anything else you haven't told me? ELISA - You'll find out everything when the time comes. And stop asking so many questions! GIANNI - How in the world did I end up in this place? MARO - My Consul, you would have come here in any case… JOSLYNN - Certainly, certainly… Now I understand everything! But why (referring to Gianni) make a Roman into an Etruscan Lucumon? GIANNI - That's what I'd like to know. MARO - (desperate) Our ancient spiritual leaders said that our people would not last more than ten centuries after the sacerdotal era… If my Consul succeeds in learning everything… If he succeeds in becoming a perfect Lucumon… He will be able to spread the culture of the Rasenna among his Roman countrymen, who are destined to last much longer than my own beloved people. JOSLYNN - What an ingenious idea! MARO - (pleased) Yes… JOSLYNN - And when exactly is the era of you Etruscans supposed to an end? MARO - According to the priests' calculations, (sad) my people will cease to exist in the year 709. GIANNI - In 709? JOSLYNN - (to Maro) So interesting! And… What year are we in now? MARO - What year are we in now? You mean you don't know? ELISA - Sure we know, but Joslynn wants to hear it from you, just like your short and long term objectives. GIANNI - Right. (To Maro, curious) What year are we in? (Pause) MARO - 536. GIANNI - (amazed) 536? JOSLYNN - (notes the years in her notebook. Then to Maro) Well then, according to what you're saying, we've got almost two centuries before the end of the Etruscan people, why are you so desperate? MARO - I'm not desperate for myself. I'm desperate for my people. My Consul is witness to how we Rasenna have fought and continue to fight blindly against our fate with no hope in our hearts. GIANNI - (to Maro) I'm more than a witness. I'm a victim. MARO - …Very soon, I will die. In just a few years, my time will have come. If I am unable to fulfill my intention of teaching all that I know to my Consul… If he fails to learn everything… I will die without the comfort of knowing that I have consecrated my countrymen to the age of the future. Understand? ELISA - (with a melancholy voice) Poor Maro… (She turns away to cry). JOSLYNN - But your consul will help you (to Gianni), won't you? GIANNI - (exaggerating) Of course! (Elisa visibly breaks down crying) Elisaa! Calm down! We've got a lot of things to clear up here. It's no time to be crying. (Takes her book) Here, read your book, maybe it will help you pull yourself together. (Elisa throws her book to the ground angrily). MARO - (tenderly) Don't cry, Elisa, my Consul will learn… you'll see. JOSLYNN - (to relieve the tension a little) So, Maro, in what year were you born? MARO - In 473. GIANNI - 473? What are you…? JOSLYNN - (interrupting him) So, you are now 63 years old. MARO - I'm over 60, yes. GIANNI - You certainly don't look it… Congratulations, Maro. And how old would I be? I mean, and how old am I? MARO - You don't know how old you are? GIANNI - Sure I know, but Joslynn wants to hear it from you (to Joslynn) isn't that right? JOSLYNN - …Yes, certainly. MARO - (to Joslynn) My Consul is a little older than me (smiles). GIANNI - Oh, Christ… You mean, I'm over 63 years old? (To Maro) No, I mean, I don't look my age either, do I? JOSLYNN - This is all so very interesting. Maro, I'd like to ask you just one more question. May I? MARO - Yes… JOSLYNN - (takes out her pen and notebook and looks at it as she says…) What's the first thing you're going to teach your consul about the Rasenna? MARO - (logical) The essential thing. JOSLYNN - And what is the essential thing? MARO - (logical) Eating. JOSLYNN - (smiling) Right! Of course! (Writing in her notebook). MARO - …What we eat is transformed inside our bodies into courage, loyalty, wisdom… It is a magical process. Our food must be chosen carefully, cooked well… JOSLYNN - (to Elisa) This is really so interesting! MARO - My Consul is already a good cook. He has learned how to make rabbit satura. JOSLYNN - Rabbit satura? And what might that be? MARO - A sort of fricassee, with a variation. Instead of boiled barley you use boiled rabbit. GIANNI - It's a minestrone, Professor. We've got a little left over. If you'd like to, you can taste it. JOSLYNN - Oh, I'd love to. …Eating like the Etruscans! Amazing! (Laughs wildly) MARO - This morning, for breakfast, we're going to make a recipe that's very popular among us Rasenna. JOSLYNN - Oh, really? What is it? MARO - (taking out the ingredients) Here we are. Rosemary, sage, and fruit. You blend them all together and then you drink it. It's very nutritious. GIANNI - Disgusting! MARO - Never say "disgusting" before you've tried it, my Consul. ELISA - (to Joslynn, calming down after her cry) There's also another special ingredient in your cuisine, isn't there Maro. Tell her about it. MARO - …Yes. JOSLYNN - And what would that be? GIANNI - (to Joslynn) Rhythm. MARO - (pleased) My Consul, I see that you are learning! JOSLYNN - Rhythm? GIANNI - …And no clothes, you know? I learned really well. JOSLYNN - What do you mean, no clothes? MARO - You have to dance with vigor, clothes would just get in the way… JOSLYNN - (amazed) …So that's why Etruscan frescoes have all those naked figures dancing around! MARO - We do everything to music, especially eating. Take your clothes off. JOSLYNN - What? (To Elisa) I've got to take my clothes off? GIANNI - (condescending) You got it. Otherwise, the mixture doesn't come out right. ELISA - …It's not necessary to take off all your clothes, right Maro? MARO - No, as long as my Consul pounds it a little more with his pestle. GIANNI - What, you want me to do the pounding? MARO - So you can show me how well you've learned, my Consul. ELISA - Right! (Laughs). GIANNI - Yes, but… MARO - Come on, here you go. (He hands him the mortar with the ingredients and the pestle). GIANNI - (to himself) Oh Christ! (To Maro, uncertain) …Do I have to take off my armour? MARO - No, that's not necessary for pounding the mixture. GIANNI - What a relief. MARO - Now you, Professor… JOSLYNN - (interrupting him) No, no, no… Just Joslynn, please. (Laughs exaggeratedly). MARO - You, Joslynn, go ahead and take your clothes off. (Joslynn looks at Elisa who nods) GIANNI - (to Joslynn) Remember Woodstock? JOSLYNN - (with enthusiasm) Woodstock? …Oh, sure! (Happy) Far out! Awesome, I mean, amazing! …Like Woodstock. Wow! ELISA - (when Joslynn is down to her underpants and bra and seems to have no intention of stopping there) Okay, that's just fine, right Maro? GIANNI - (disappointed) But if she wants to keep going… ELISA - Right, Maro? MARO - Yes, yes, that's fine. (To Joslynn) Now, you dance around like this (gives her a vigorous demonstration of the dance steps) Like that, with lots of vigor, understand? JOSLYNN - Right, lots of vigor. GIANNI - (pointing to his fingers) …And bring the waves of the sea all the way up to your finger tips! Got it? JOSLYNN - What? (Tries on her own to make her fingers dance like the waves of the sea). MARO - (to Elisa) Did you bring the flute? ELISA - Yes, here you go. (Takes the flute out of her backpack). GIANNI - (to Joslynn) No, don't worry, we don't eat the flute, believe me. Just wait and see. MARO - (to Elisa) Make sure you give it the right rhythm. (To everyone) Positions! (Gianni bows his head over the mortar and pestle, ready to start. Elisa gets set to play the flute, and Maro and Joslynn assume the dancing position) GIANNI - Ready. MARO - …No, wait a minute. This morning, I want to try something new to modernize the recipe… I want to add a new ingredient… JOSLYNN - (curious) What is it? MARO - Coca Cola. GIANNI - Disgusting. MARO - Never say "disgusting" before you've tasted it, my Consul. (Grabs the bottle of Coke). ELISA - That's right! (Laughs). GIANNI - (to Joslynn) I told you, fireworks for breakfast! (To himself) How in the world did I end up in this place! ELISA - (making fun of him) The lightning bolts, consul, the lightning bolts! MARO - (pouring a large amount of Coca Cola into the mortar. Gianni is disgusted) Positions! Ready! Go! (Elisa plays the flute with the rhythm we've heard in the earlier scene. Gianni pounds the ingredients with the pestle. Maro and Joslynn dance around with vigor. Black. Recorded music controlled from offstage is superimposed over the flute and the volume increases steadily. After a while, lights. The music fades to silence. We see Joslynn with her clothes back on, consulting an encyclopedia with Elisa. At some distance from them, Gianni, still dressed as an ancient Roman, seems to be checking on something outside of the hypothetical window. Sporadically, we hear some muffled noises like the rumblings of an earthquake) /.../ N.B. The on-line available text includes the beginning only. To get the complete script contact the author directly: e-mail infogatto@andrea-jeva.it (N.B. Remove the name of the animal from the address)